


As Second Chances Go

by Weevilo707



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Amnesia, Angst with a Happy Ending, Developing Friendships, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Lup has amnesia and becomes a reaper, Multi, Reaper Lup (The Adventure Zone), how to give a lich amnesia in two easy steps: a guide by kravitz
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-01
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:01:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 17,822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28487967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Weevilo707/pseuds/Weevilo707
Summary: Kravitz could tell that the lich who was here had been incredibly powerful. When he sliced open the umbrella spell focus she had left behind, he had not been expecting to find much. He certainly hadn't expected for the lich to emerge, a tattered and broken soul, torn further asunder by his scythe ripping through her. In this state, he figured the best he could do for her was put her out of her misery.But it seemed that fate had different plans.-Lup couldn't remember much from before she was released from that strange umbrella shaped prison. Or scratch that, she couldn't rememberanythingfrom before then. The only reason she even knew her name was because Kravitz had it in his big old book of death crimes. Which she was in, because apparently, she had been a death criminal. One of the worsts, if her bounty was anything to go off of. Not really a fun thing to learn about yourself.That didn't matter though, because she was going to make up for it. She'd prove that she deserved this second chance, that whoever she had been before didn't define her. She was a new person, and she was going to make the most of it.No matter what the cost.
Relationships: Barry Bluejeans/Lup, Kravitz & Lup (The Adventure Zone), Kravitz/Taako (The Adventure Zone), Lup & Taako (The Adventure Zone)
Comments: 58
Kudos: 161





	1. A Cut of Fate

Kravitz had been doing his job for a long time now. A very long time, and this case he was following was already pinging him as quite strange.

Of course, everything about the last two years had been strange. Strange and unsettling and just plain _horrifying_. So much death and destruction, and those who didn’t understand his Queen’s laws would think they would want that, want more souls coming into the astral plane.

That wasn’t true in the slightest though. There needed to be a balance. The rules he enforced were there to keep everything from falling out of place, and it was clear to see that lately things had been nothing but unbalanced.

At least, it was that way until about a week ago. Suddenly, as if flipping a switch, it all seemed to stop. It was unnerving, and Kravitz couldn’t appreciate the sudden reprieve without fear yet. He was waiting for the other shoe to drop. In the meantime though, he was trying to catch up on some work that had fallen by the wayside in their struggle to keep up with the increasing demands of the newly departed.

Which was why he was here now.

Kravitz was cautious as he entered into the cave, but so far his descent into the dimly lit, magical area had been relatively uneventful. Every so often the quiet was punctuated by the occasional low threat that naturally lived in these kinds of environments, but he was not about to let his guard down.

It had been about four months ago now, but that didn’t change the fact that the spike of energy that had appeared in this area had been enormous. So much so that when he felt it he immediately made note of the area, which was a good thing. Any sign was long gone now, but Kravitz had been around long enough to know what these kinds of readings meant.

There wasn’t enough foot traffic or signs of life for it to be any sort of cult working together. Which meant a single creature had been the cause of such a powerful source of necromancy.

Which meant, almost undoubtedly, that he was dealing with a lich. He’d originally feared dracolich from the strength he was getting, but now he wasn’t sure. The cave seemed a bit too small for something so large.

Whatever it had been though, he could pretty safely assume that it wasn’t here anymore, but he still needed to be cautious. He didn’t know what kind of traps it might have set, or why it had been here in the first place.

He was fairly certain he was on the right path now as he twisted his way through the old mines, his already exceptional darkvision assisted by the softly glowing mushrooms that flourished down here. He could certainly tell there was _something_ still down here, but whatever it was had a much harder energy to place than simple necromancy.

Walking into a large chamber with a positively enormous stone vault on the other end, Kravitz was certain that he had found whatever it was that lich had been in here for.

And his eyes glancing over to the corner, he was fairly certain he’d found what remained of the lich. Or at least, a part of her.

Heading over, even after centuries of doing this he couldn’t help but grimace a bit at the sight. Finding bodies was never a pleasant task, and finding them a few months after the fact was even less enjoyable. Still he ignored that, producing the tome from his Queen, letting the pages flip around as he tried to identify any lingering bits of soul still left. Hopefully they could let him know who this had been, once upon a time.

“What do we got here?” he asked, a bit disappointed and a lot frustrated when there didn’t seem to be any bit of power or soul left to identify this person. Usually liches were… unstable, to put it mildly. They left traces of themselves and their dark magic wherever they went, their fragmented minds too shattered to hold it all together.

This one had clearly been a bit more crafty than that in her escape, because there was _nothing._ If he hadn’t been so certain in his documentation of the source of the necrotic energy, he would have assumed he plain old had the wrong place.

“Suppose we do this the old fashioned way,” he grumbled, crouching down to get a better look at the body. There were still some things that were notable, long pale hair, probably elven. The robe she was wearing still looked pristine, a bright red with the hood pulled up as far as it could go. A patch on the robe read ‘IPRE’ but he hadn’t the faintest idea what the acronym might stand for.

The only other real thing of note was what Kravitz assumed must’ve been her spell focus. He was a little surprised that the lich hadn’t taken it with her during her escape. Perhaps that was just a sign of hubris, believing herself too powerful to require one anymore. Still, it could be useful, so Kravitz carefully reached out and started pulling it away from the corpse.

He’d been prepared for a trap, but he was still surprised by the sparks of red arcane power that crackled off of it as it moved. They seemed sluggish and erratic, ending quickly. It hadn’t caused any sort of damage to him, but Kravitz was immediately on edge as he backed away from the corpse with the spellfocus.

Or more specifically, with the umbrella.

“Unconventional, to say the least,” he muttered, starting to look over the thing. And at first glance it did seem like nothing more than a normal umbrella, hard to tell that it was even magical in nature. After what he’d seen though, and considering the power that had drawn him to this place he wasn’t going to dismiss it.

The more he inspected it, letting the Raven Queen’s powers flow through him like a heartbeat, the more he could notice something off about it. Past the plain exterior it was powerful, extremely powerful from the cursory identify he placed on it. There was something else though, and it took him a moment before he realized what it was. Or more specifically, was it _wasn’t._

Identifying pocket dimensions wasn’t exactly his forte, in almost any other situation he was rather certain he would have missed it entirely, but he wasn’t about to leave any stone unturned here. And there, in the center of the umbrella, was the smallest, slightest blip of _nothing._ A pocket hiding something much larger inside.

Liches were tricky creatures, and it seemed this one was no exception. Taking a deep breath, Kravitz gave himself a moment to prepare for whatever it was he was about to find. He figured at best he’d happened upon its phylactery, and could destroy it before he even found the lich. At worst, this was a trap.

Then he tossed the umbrella into the air, slicing it clean through with his scythe.

The umbrella broke with ease. It was hard to see as the destruction of the pocket dimension sent out a shockwave, throwing him back against one of the cave walls. As such, he heard more than saw the lich inside scream in agony as his scythe caught her as she was released from the umbrella.

Pushing himself back to his feet, for a moment Kravitz thought that was it. He had managed to catch the lich with his scythe, which should have sent her directly to the astral plane. Something must’ve gone wrong though. Maybe she wasn’t fully released from the umbrella when he snagged her or maybe the pocket dimension's explosion interfered with her transfer to the astral plane. Whatever it was, there was no denying the fact that she was still very clearly in front of him.

She was a red mass of crackling energy, bony spectral hands clutching what passed for her head as she sat doubled over on the ground. Her entire form was shuddering and flickering, a tattered mess of what was left of a soul. Kravitz couldn’t help the slight pang of pity at the sight, but he pushed that aside for now.

“Well, this certainly makes things a lot easier,” he said, summoning his book once again. She must’ve been at a fraction of her power after being trapped in that thing, but he was certain this was the same lich he had felt before. She looked up at him as this time his book turned to the correct page, the name shimmering that slightest bit brighter to let him know he’d gotten the right soul. There was nothing inside of that hood except for a shuddering, blinking light that barely seemed able to stay on, like a tiny dying flame.

“Lup, is it? Lup, by order of the Raven Queen you have been charged with fourteen accounts of dying without checking into the astral plane, as well as necromancy of the highest order up to and including becoming a lich. You shall be immediately sentenced to the Eternal Stockade to atone for your crimes,” he read off, and a part of him almost felt sad for this thing. She had clearly been powerful before, but it was obvious how much she was barely hanging on now.

Well, that just made this all for the best. Now this poor lost soul could finally get some proper peace.

 _“W-what?”_ she asked, her voice distorted and broken. Even still it was surprising that she still had her wits about her enough to speak, considering how much she was falling apart.

Scratch that, it was much more than surprising. It shouldn’t have been possible. Even if Kravitz wasn’t standing in front of her she would have been at death’s door, and the instability of her form should have transferred to her mind. A lich in this state should be nothing but uncontrollable, blind rage.

This lich didn’t look mad though. She just looked scared. 

_“Lup?”_ she continued, confusion clear despite how broken even the single word sounded, and Kravitz frowned at that. It wasn’t rare for liches to lose all sense of their own identity, but it was never fun to see. He could only imagine the power she had possessed in her prime, if she was still this sentient and controlled in her dying moments. It felt almost impossible that he had never run into her before, with her kind of strength.

“Don’t worry, you’ll be at peace soon,” he said, a soft tone to his voice. As much of a monstrosity as this thing had become, it was hard to look at it now and not see the terrified, confused person underneath. What so many people didn’t understand was that death had no desire to be cruel, it was a natural continuation of life.

He swung, moving to bring his scythe down on the lich and return her tattered soul to the astral plane.

And he missed by a country mile.

“Well that- that’s embarrassing. You’re sitting right there,” he said, not sure how he had misjudged that one. Sure, her form was shifting and erratic, but he didn’t tend to have whiffs like that.

 _“Wow, y-you… you kinda s-suck at this,”_ the lich said. Despite the state she was in she still somehow managed to sound the slightest bit amused by the whole thing. Kravitz huffed, readjusting his grip on his scythe. Before he could make another move though she shuddered horribly, and it was becoming increasingly clear that something was very wrong here. Her form was hard to make out as it was, shifting and breaking and unstable, but the longer he looked the easier it became to see.

It was almost like a gash, a large run down her soul where bolts of red arcane power were spraying out from like blood. He glanced from his scythe to the two remaining pieces of the umbrella she had been trapped in, now discarded on the cave floor.

It seemed like he had cut a bit deeper than he intended. Kravitz could only imagine the pain from having your soul quite literally cut down the middle.

“ _H-help,”_ she pleaded after a moment, and Kravitz realized he had been standing there staring for far too long. Taking a deep, unnecessary breath, he nodded and gripped his scythe a bit tighter. Even though this thing was an abomination, there was no need for her to keep suffering like this.

“Yes. Do not worry, that’s why I’m here. Your pain will be over soon,” he said, and this time when he moved his scythe he saw a slight shimmer run down the blade. Most would pass it off as a trick of the light, the soft glow of the mushrooms around them reflected on the divine blade.

Kravitz recognized that iridescent white shine though, wrapped around his blade like the smallest thread before disappearing, and his swing halted in the air immediately.

And like clockwork, he could feel a tug in his chest, a call from his Queen to return back to the astral plane immediately.

Followed by more concrete instructions, a single simple command.

To bring the lich unharmed.

“I’m sorry, you’re uh, you’re going to have to hold on a little bit longer,” he said, and the lich was barely responding at this point. There was a part of Kravitz was worried she might break before he even had the time to follow through on this new order. Moving carefully, trying not to get too close for fear of a trap, he knelt down in front of here.

“I want to help you, but you’re going to have to come with me,” he said, holding out a hand cautiously. She didn’t have a face, instead near solid blackness in what once passed as the hood of a robe, an unstable flicker of a flame inside.

 _“I d-don’t… understand,”_ she managed, and that was probably fair. Her mind was obviously as tattered and broken as her soul was, it was a miracle that she had more sense than a rabid animal at this point. More than a miracle, it shouldn’t have been possible. 

He supposed that might have something to do with this impromptu change of fate that seemed to be taking place here.

“I know you’re hurt and scared right now, some of that might be my fault. I promise though, I can take you to someone who can fix all of that. I just need you to trust me,” he said, speaking softly, calmly, treating this somewhere between speaking to an injured animal and a scared child. She was neither of these things, but the state her mind was in left her almost as vulnerable. It was hard to tell if she was hesitating, or if she simply couldn’t understand what he was saying. There was a part of Kravitz that was still sure there was no way this was not going to end in a fight. He had never, in all his years serving under the Raven Queen, had someone as far gone as a lich come in willingly.

The nod of her head that happened was too deliberate to be another spasm of her soul trying to tear itself apart. He watched as she used a considerable amount of effort to take his hand as best as her broken, phantasmal form could. He could feel the necrotic energy seeping off of her, and when she placed her hand in his he was nearly overwhelmed with the sudden barrage that hit him.

It was clear she was having a hard time controlling herself. He was fairly certain that she didn’t intend to hit him with a blast of her own confusion and terror.

That didn’t stop it from nearly overwhelming him. He kept himself from stumbling back, forcing himself not to snatch his hand away as shocks of that arcane power hit him with all the fear and uncertainty that had taken over the mind of this lich. It took a moment to steady himself, but then Kravitz forced himself to put on a comforting smile as stood up.

She was still curled up on the ground, but it was easy enough to use his scythe to cut a portal around them to the astral plane, not trusting this lich to keep her form if asked to move.

With the swing of his blade the scenery around them changed, the strange glowing cave and ominous locked vault replaced with the astral plane. He took them directly to the Raven Queen, her large throne in front of them with the goddess watching their appearance expectantly. 

Kravitz wasn’t surprised to see that the Lady Istus was there as well, and he only let go of the lich to bow to them both deeply.

“My Queen, Lady Istus. I have returned with the lich as you instructed,” he said, and as he spoke the lich seemed to finally notice the giant goddesses towering above them. She didn’t say anything, her form shuddering in pain again. It was almost sad. “I suppose there is a specific reason you have chosen to keep her from the Eternal Stockade?” he asked, unsurprised when the Raven Queen nodded.

“Yes. It would seem that despite the magnitude of laws this lich has broken, the Lady Istus has plans for her that we are not yet to stop,” the Raven Queen said, the slightest hint of annoyance in her voice. It was truly rare that anything could get under his Queen’s skin, but Lady Istus was definitely one such thing. It was very lucky for everyone involved that the two were so fond of each other.

“I’m afraid she might be too far gone, even if we wanted to pardon her,” Kravitz spoke up. It felt a bit rude to talk about someone like that in front of them, but it was also the honest truth. She was falling apart in front of them, and he was honestly shocked that she had lasted this long.

Before the Raven Queen could say anything on that the Lady Istus turned towards the lich, a soft, concerned frown as she seemed to inspect her. As she placed her hands on either side of what might have once been her head, Kravitz could see the goddess reading the unseen strings of fate that had brought her to this place here and now. It was something that he could never understand, but it wasn’t his place to understand. He was an instrument of death, not fate.

“Your mind and soul have been badly shattered,” she started. A large shudder, bolts of crackling energy coming off the lich as she practically sat curled up on the floor.

 _“C-can… help?”_ she begged, and there was certainly something surreal about it. Seeing a lich seeking help instead of trying to fight. The Lady Istus seemed to think it over as she continued to inspect her.

“The damage is severe, I’m afraid that there are not many options we have for fixing you in this state,” she said. Kravitz had been around the gods for a long time, and they were often cryptic and hard beings to understand.

He could very easily hear the unspoken ‘but’ at the end of that sentence however.

“Dear?” Istus asked, turning away from the lich and back towards the Raven Queen. The Raven Queen did not answer, instead simply nodding for the other goddess to go on. “I implore you to take this soul into your retinue. Allow her to take another path to atone for her crimes,” she said, and Kravitz knew it wasn’t unheard of. Former necromancers could become devote members of the Raven Queen’s retinue, working to prevent wrongs they had once been a part of.

But bringing in _a lich_ was something else altogether.

The Raven Queen said nothing for a long moment, long enough that Kravitz was certain some sort of silent conversation was happening between the two gods. Even though there was nothing telling in her voice when the Raven Queen did finally end up speaking, Kravitz could feel how begrudging it was.

“If fate deems it necessary, I will provide the lich with one chance to atone for her past crimes,” she said, before focusing her full attention on the lich. It was hard to describe how much larger than life the gods were, and it was never more clear then when the Raven Queen rose up from her throne. Even when she came to kneel down on level in front of the lich there was a part of her that was so clearly powerful and ancient beyond words.

“What little is left of your soul has been torn asunder, and your mind shattered. I can mend what is left, but in return you shall work in service to me. You will be sworn to uphold the laws that govern the natural flow of life and death that you once profaned. Do you accept this charge?” she asked. The lich didn’t say anything during her speech. She was so tattered that it was near impossible to tell what it was thinking.

Then that hood jerked in that very deliberate way, a surprising amount of determination from something so far gone.

 _“Y…yes,”_ the lich managed to say, and with that the Raven Queen nodded back.

“Very well then,” the Raven Queen said, and Kravitz had never actually seen the creation of another reaper before. His own transformation had been so long ago, and one was often not in the clearest state right after dying. As such he could barely remember it. So he watched mystified as the Raven Queen dragged a long, talon tipped hand down along the gash Kravitz had cut into the lich. Where her hand passed large black feathers appeared, quickly growing to consume the entire lich.

For a moment it appeared as if a pair of large wings had completely encased the lich, and then in a flurry of feathers they exploded out.

The form that was left was decidedly more solid than what had been before. Kravitz could almost make out features, but she was still so transparent and wrapped up in a long red cloak to be rather hard to perceive.

The lich let out a long sigh, an exhaustion there that clearly ran deep.

“Thank you,” she said, and her voice wasn’t the distorted, broken rasp it had been before. It still sounded weak, but it was more solid. More alive, for lack of a better word. The Raven Queen nodded, standing back up and returning to her throne.

Kravitz was so caught up in watching the events unfold that he didn’t notice Lady Istus turn towards hum until she spoke. 

“Kravitz?” she started, the reaper caught off guard by his name. “I would like to ask you to oversee her training and recovery,” she declared.

“Me?” he asked, turning towards the Raven Queen for some sort of guidance. Instead of offering him a way out the goddess nodded. It was hard for him to suppress the sigh that wanted to come out at that, but he managed. 

“I suppose if your judgment deems it for the best, then of course,” he said, and well, he couldn’t say he sounded enthusiastic about the whole deal. Still, he hadn’t turned it down. He told himself that was all anyone could ask of him right now, considering the circumstances.

“It will take time for her construct to finish forming. Kravitz, please take the new reaper to rest until she has finished healing,” the Raven Queen said, and Kravitz quickly nodded.

“Of course,” he said, and the lich- well, former lich now, nodded.

“Rest… I could d-do rest,” she said softly, a thankful tone to her voice at the idea. Opening up another portal with his scythe, Kravitz bowed towards the two goddesses before he once again held out a hand for the new reaper to take. She was actually able to pull herself to her feet this time, although Kravitz doubted she would be able to walk far. Thankfully there wasn’t any need to. He wasn’t surprised to find that the small bit of the astral plane that passed for his home was now a bit bigger, a room that had not been there before having appeared in his absence.

The former lich followed after him, and when Kravitz opened the door to the room it was rather plain inside. A decent sized room, which highlighted the fact that there was nothing but a small, simple bed in the corner. She immediately went and curled up onto it, and Kravitz was fairly sure she was phasing through it some.

“You should be safe here. Take all the time you need to recover,” he said. Lup barely seemed to be paying him much mind now, nodding only the slightest bit.

“Thanks bones,” she mumbled, and it took Kravitz a moment to realize he had been in his full reaper form the entire time. Well, there wasn’t anything to do about that now.

“I’ll be in the other room if you need anything,” he added, but it seemed that she was well on her way to ignoring him now. Or she managed to fall asleep already, he wouldn’t be too surprised either way.

Shutting the door behind him as he left the room, Kravitz took a moment to sigh heavily as the reality of the situation started to settle. He let his construct come together around his reaper form, just so he could brush his hair out of his face as he headed to the sparsely decorated area that made up his own room. He didn’t spend a lot of time here, he wondered if that was about to change.

He had trained other reapers before, but none quite so new, and certainly none that were so broken to start with. He had a feeling it was going to be a bit more demanding than his previous experience of babysitting a few green reapers on their more dangerous missions. That wasn’t even getting into the fact that as far as he could tell, the lich had not actually been in the best state of mind to even _agree_ to any of this. Lady Istus had said her mind was tattered and destroyed. He wasn’t looking forward to seeing what she was like once it was fully healed.

Not that there was much she could do about it now, or that he could do either for that matter. Things always got so fickle and confusing when Lady Istus was involved. He was quite fond of the goddess and enjoyed her company, things were always just so… _complicated_ when her work got tangled up in it all.

The even more annoying part was that things often seemed to work out for the best despite any of the initial misgivings Kravitz would have. At the very least, by the end of things he tended to understand much more than he ever thought he would.

Hopefully this would be another case of Lady Istus proving them wrong.

For now though, all he could really do was wait and see.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New year new fic! This one I've been playing around with for a while, and I finally managed to get it working correctly, so we're off to the races. I'm definitely excited for where it's going to go, I hope other are too. It's fun playing with just how many different types of amnesia one can fit into a single universe. 
> 
> as always, thanks for reading and i hope you enjoyed!


	2. Waking Up

She woke up in a room she could only vaguely remember stumbling into. The walls were a blank white and the bed she was on had solid black sheets, and that was everything of note around her. There weren’t any windows, no signs that another person had never lived in here at all. The only thing that broke up the solid nothing around her was a door, off on the other side of the room.

Maybe there was someone else on the other side of that door. As it was at the moment though, she was completely alone.

That thought seemed to have tripped… something. She didn’t know what, but she could feel panic start to grip her. She tried to remember how she had gotten here, and all she could manage were muddled flashes of two otherworldly women talking about things she didn’t understand, and the skeleton that had led her here.

She tried to remember before that, but there was _ nothing. _ An empty, black room with thick curtains. She was alone.

She tried to remember her name, and came up blank. That couldn’t- that couldn’t be right. She had to have a name. She had a name, right? That skeleton, he had called her something. The goddesses, they had addressed her. What did they say? Who  _ was _ she?

“What’s wrong?!” a panicked voice brought her out of her spiral, and it was only then that she realized she’d been screaming. That she had curled up onto herself and was clawing at her head, hands tangled up in her hair. She had long hair, she hadn’t noticed that before.

She looked up, and there was someone standing in that doorway she didn’t recognize. Pretty good looking guy, definitely some elven heritage in there, with dark skin and long black hair in dreads. He was wearing a nice looking suit, small golden accents here and there.

“I- uh,” she started, taking a moment to remember what the question had been. She had no idea how to fucking put into words just how much was wrong though, quickly going with something else instead. “You uh, you haven’t seen a skeleton around here, have you?” she asked, because she didn’t know this guy. That skeleton fucker was the one that brought her here though, so maybe he would have some answers.

This stranger smiled, an she was able to tell something was up a second before his form started to shift.

“You mean this skeleton?” he asked, and where face and hair and all that had been was a skull with glowing red points in the eye sockets. She’d felt herself startle, but quickly nodded.

“That would be the one,” she said, and with that the dude came fully into the room, putting his face back into place as he did.

“Sorry, I suppose that was rude. I’m a bit surprised you’re awake though, you should keep resting,” he said, coming over and materializing a chair out of fucking nowhere. He sat down, looking over over intently as he did. “Your construct still had quite a bit to go before it’s completed. How are you feeling?” he pressed.

“My construct?” she asked, because she had no fucking clue what he was talking about. When she looked down at herself though she was starting to get an idea. “Shit!”

She couldn’t see a lot, which was probably for the best. Most of her form was covered and wrapped up in the dark black blanket that came with the bed, but she could see her arms.

More specifically, she could see  _ through _ her arms. She could see the bones in her hands, so white they almost seemed to gleam blue, a phantasmal echo of flesh around them.

“What the fuck is this? What’s  _ going on?!” _ she asked, feeling that panic starting to claw at her from the inside out again.

“It’s alright. The Raven Queen is forming a construct for your soul, based off of the body you had in life. The same thing happened to me and every other reaper before you. It might take a bit longer for you, with the state your soul was left in, but there’s nothing to worry about,” this guy explained, clearly doing his best attempt at being comforting. It was a pretty damn good attempt too, but it didn’t quite outweigh the fact that she still had no fucking idea what he was talking about.

“I don’t know what any of that  _ means,” _ she insisted, and there was definitely surprise on this guy’s face at that. “Who are you? Who-” she felt herself falter on the next question, because it felt like a big thing to admit. She didn’t know this guy, she didn’t know what he wanted from her and if she let him know how confused she was he would have the upper hand.

He already had the upper hand though, and as terrified as she was, he didn’t seem evil. No one she could remember meeting had seemed  _ bad, _ and right now she needed answers over everything else.

“Who am  _ I?” _

“You don’t remember?” he asked, and the concern and surprise in his voice sounded genuine. She shook her head, and he was frowning deeply now. “Tell me what you do remember, anything at all,” he continued, and that seemed fair. Probably best to get an idea of what her baseline was.

“I remember a skeleton, or well, you I guess? Pretty sure you were trying to kill me, but you weren’t exactly good at it. Then you took me to these two giant ladies and… I made some sort of deal, I guess? For them to help me?” she said, and she wished she could remember more than that. She wished it didn’t feel so much like a guess.

“That’s it?” he asked, and she nodded. He let out a long sigh at that, brushing some of the locks back from his face and she got the feeling this wasn’t exactly a good thing. “Alright, well then. I can certainly fill in a bit for you, but it might be best for you to keep resting. Once you’re fully healed you might remember more,” he added.

“Okay, but in the meantime do you think you could maybe give me some names? Mostly for me but it wouldn’t hurt to know yours too,” she asked, and he quickly nodded at that.

“Of course. My name is Kravitz, I am a reaper for the Raven Queen, one of the goddesses you remember speaking to earlier. According to our records your name is Lup, no last name available. You’ll be joining my ranks as a reaper as well, but you should just focus on recovering for now,” he explained.

“Lup?” she said, and it felt… right in her mouth. She couldn’t say she remembered it, but somewhere deep down it felt like she recognized the name. Like it could very well be her. “Yeah that- that’ll work,” she finished.

“You should keep resting,” Kravitz said, and she wasn’t too sure if she felt tired or not. She wasn’t sure if she felt much of anything, now that she was paying attention to it. It all was numb, which considering the state she was in right now was probably the better option.

“You might have the right idea there, bones,” she said, and she could see him raise an eyebrow at the nickname.

“Did you forget my name already?” he asked, and she actually laughed at that. She shook her head, and the blanket moved some as she did. When she looked down she could start to see her ribs and collarbones, and she quickly pulled the blanket tighter around herself again. She couldn’t give a shit about modesty right now, but there was something pretty damn unnerving about seeing her insides.

“Nah, just felt like bones fits better,” she said, and Kravitz rolled his eyes at that. Standing up, Lup could see him hesitate slightly, like he was too sure of how to approach whatever it was he wanted to say.

“I’ll look into what I can about your current situation. I will admit it has been… a  _ very _ long time since I went through the process myself, so it’s all a little fuzzy for me. You were pretty severely damaged as well, that might have something to do with why it’s so hard for you to remember anything about your past,” he said, and it kind of felt like he was talking around something. Still, Lup nodded, because she could at least appreciate the effort.

“Sounds good. I’ll just chill here until my body finishes cooking I guess,” she said. Kravitz nodded at that, standing up and the chair disappearing as soon as he didn’t need it anymore.

“I’ll be right outside if you need anything,” he said, and with that he left the room, leaving Lup alone again. Pretty quickly, she was able to decide one thing.

She didn’t like being alone.

She forced herself to lay back down, spending a long time holding her hand up and inspecting it, watching the way light seemed to pass right through her, the intricacies of all the tiny bones joining together despite the lack of any noticeable tendons or muscles holding it all together. There weren’t even veins, no blood pumping through her system, nothing.

The longer she lay there, the more she noticed.

She was cold, and as the lack of veins suggested, she couldn’t feel any sort of heartbeat. She steeled her nerves, pulling the blanket away to look down at her chest. It was as transparent as the rest of her still, an there was no sign of a heart inside. Or lungs.

She wasn’t breathing.

She collapsed back down at that, pulling the blankets over herself again and curling up onto her side. There wasn’t any sort of mirror in the room, which was probably a good thing. She wasn’t sure she wanted to see what her face looked like right now, skull visible and glowing a blue white underneath. If they could look through the bone, would there be a brain inside? Probably not, from the looks of everything else.

Lup wasn’t sure how long she laid there for, but at some point the slow horror of the situation gave way to boredom, and even later that boredom turned over into unconsciousness. She guessed Kravitz was right about her needing rest, and when she woke again she had absolutely no idea how much time had passed. She was still in the same blank white room with the black bedspread.

When she looked at her hands though there was a noticeable difference. They were solid, light brown skin covering any bones underneath. She put two fingers up to her neck, waiting a moment.

There still wasn’t any pulse, and she still wasn’t breathing.

She tried not to think about that too hard, pushing the blankets off of herself. She was wearing clothes now thankfully, a simple black dress with a black feathered robe over top. There was something similar in style to what she remembered Kravitz wearing, although his outfit was a bit more flashy with all the gold accents.

Getting to her feet, Lup let out a sigh of relief when her legs didn’t just collapse below her. She had no idea if she felt weak right now, she mostly still felt numb. She might not be able to remember a lot, but she could hazard a guess that that wasn’t how things were supposed to be.

She managed to walk to the door without any issues though, and when she tried the knob she was a little surprised to find that it wasn’t locked. Her memories were still foggy, and there was still a big black wall of nothing for anything before Kravitz standing over her with his scythe, but some of the conversation with those goddesses had started to come back.

She could remember one not sounding too pleased to take her in. She could remember the phrase ‘atone for her crimes’ said multiple times.

The door opened up to a short hallway, at one end another door, which was closed, and the other side seeming to open up into an open living area. Lup decided to try that way first, peaking around the corner before heading out entirely.

Kravitz was sitting on a couch, stacks of papers on a coffee table in front of him. He seemed to notice her appearance pretty much instantly, putting the papers he was looking over down with the others before turning towards her.

“Oh good, you’re finally up. I was starting to get worried,” he said, and Lup took that as enough permission to come fully into the room. There was a recliner diagonal from Kravitz across the coffee table, so she walked over and sat in that.

“How long was I out for?” she asked, taking note that there weren’t any windows in this part of wherever she was either. It looked like a house, but it was all rather plain, and the lack of windows was starting to creep her out.

“Since we last spoke, or overall?” Kravitz asked back, and it was a good question.

“Both?” she decided.

“From my best approximation, it’s been about a month since we found you. We talked about two weeks ago,” he said, all so nonchalant but Lup felt her jaw drop open.

“A  _ month!?” _ she shouted, looking for some sign that he was fucking with her. He just nodded though, not seeming surprised by her outburst.

“I know it sounds like a lot, but you had gone through a rather harrowing process that takes time. Now that you are in the Raven Queen’s retinue, I promise you have all the time you need to make a fully recovery,” he explained. Again, he sounded genuine, but it also sounded pretty damn rehearsed. Considering he apparently had a month to plan for this conversation, she supposed that made sense.

“I’m dead, aren’t I?’ she asked finally, and it was hard to tell what Kravitz’s reaction was to that. His shoulders slumped some, and he was frowning, but he didn’t seem particularly sad about this fact.

“Yes, you are,” he said simply, and that- that was certainly something she was going to have to process. “Tell me, are your memories still spotty?” Kravitz asked, and she nodded. “Have they improved at all since our last talk?” he pressed.

“A little. I remember the Raven Queen, or at least I’m guessing that was her, saying something about me atoning for my crimes?” she said, and Kravitz’s frown deepened even more.

“And anything before I found you?” he asked, and Lup shook her head.

“Nothing bones. It’s just… it’s just  _ black,” _ she said. Kravitz sighed heavily at that, running a hand through his locks.

“I was really hoping you would have remembered something by now. By all accounts what was left of your soul should have healed,” he said, and Lup definitely caught the grimace that flashed across his face then. “Although I suppose that really… wasn’t much,” he muttered.

“Look, you seem like a nice enough guy, so I’m trying to keep my cool here, but I could  _ really _ fucking use some answers like, a month ago. What the fuck did I sign myself up for? Why can’t I remember anything and how- how did I- did you kill me?” she asked, tripping over her words some at the end there. She could remember Kravitz standing over her with a huge blade, could remember him swinging it at her, and she remembered him missing but that- her memories were so messed up right now. She didn’t know how accurate that was.

“Right, of course. Whatever you were in the past, you are a part of the Raven Queen’s retinue now, and as such you deserve answers,” he said, sounding like he was partially talking to himself with that. “I can tell you this much, I did not kill you. You were already long dead when I found you. I was simply there to guide you over to the astral plane,” he said, and Lup nodded slowly at that.

“How did I die then?” she asked, because that felt- that felt important. She didn’t know who she used to be yet, but maybe knowing how it ended could be the start of finding out.

“I’m not sure,” Kravitz answered, and Lup’s head shot up at that.

“How the fuck are you  _ not sure?” _ she asked, and luckily he didn’t look too annoyed at her snapping at him.

“You’d already been dead for several weeks before I found you. I’m the grim reaper, not a crime scene detective. As far as I could tell it looked like you had bled out in a cave. I found your corpse slumped against a wall,” he explained, and Lup wanted to yell at him, but she found the words weren’t coming.

“Oh,” she managed finally, and she wondered what that felt like. She wondered if she had been alone, or if anyone else had been there. If there had been anyone else, she wondered if they left her there on purpose. She had no idea what state Kravitz had found her body in after all. “And… and what about those crimes you all kept mentioning before? What does that mean?” she pressed, wanting to get on some other topic.

“How are you feeling?” Kravitz asked suddenly, standing up and not answering her question in the slightest.

“That’s- that doesn’t matter! Don’t ignore me Kravitz, I  _ know _ you know something! I remember you reading something out of- out of some book! You know what I did so just  _ tell me!”  _ she shouted, rising to her feet as well.

“I’m going to tell you, but I thought it might be easier for you to understand if you could see something first. If you’re well enough to scream though then I suppose you’re well enough to walk,” he huffed, and Lup deflated a bit at that.

“Sorry,” she muttered, and she didn’t expect Kravitz to look so shocked at the apology. “You’re right though, I feel fine. Well, I don't feel too much of anything at all, but it'll have to do. I just need to know what’s going on, you get that, right? I have no fucking idea who I am and it’s  _ terrifying,”  _ she said, admitting that out loud for the first time. There was a moment where Kravitz was just staring at her, his face unreadable. Then he seemed to come to some sort of conclusion, nodding.

“Of course. You’ll have to forgive me, I’m afraid these are all pretty unusual circumstances, I’m figuring it out as we go as well,” he said, and Lup nodded at that. It seemed fair enough. “Come with me and I’ll try to explain everything I can,” he added.

Lup watched as he summoned a scythe, and it was hard not to flinch back at that. He seemed to notice though, quickly turning away from her before swinging, creating a large tear in space. “This way,” he said, starting to walk into it. Not seeing any other choice, Lup followed after him.

They stepped out onto a beach, and to say it was beautiful would be an understatement. The sand below her feet was a glistening white, the sky swirling starry streaks of purples and blues and greens, like a nebula exploding above them, but the real breathtaker was the ocean.

It stretched off, as far as the eye could see, and was completely full of strange, glowing white orbs. They crashed up in waves and shot up like dolphins before joining back down into the water, and for a long moment all Lup could do was stare.

“It’s finally starting to calm down again, after the wars,” Kravitz said, and he was speaking quietly enough that he might have been talking to himself.

“Wars?” she asked, and he shook his head.

“Some trouble that was happening in the prime material plane. Lots of souls taken before their time, too many,” he said, and Lup frowned at that. “Lup, this is the astral sea. This is where the souls of the living come to rest once their time has run out on the prime material plane. As a reaper for the Raven Queen, it is my job to make sure that this passage is able to happen as smoothly as possible, and even more so, to make sure that no one is able to go against the flow of the world and profane the laws of life and death by extending their own life in any unnatural ways,” he explained.

Lup was trying to take in as much as possible, and so far it all seemed pretty straightforward. He worked for the goddess of death, so his job was to make sure death went smoothly. She could only assume that would be her job too, soon enough.

Then Kravitz turned around, and it took Lup a moment to realize he was looking at something behind her, and not at  _ her. _

“And  _ this, _ is the Eternal Stockade,” he continued, and when Lup turned to look she was taken off guard by the size of the building behind them. It stuck out like a sore thumb, all hard gray stone and iron against the calming white ocean. “This is where those who would go against the natural order of life and death are taken to atone to their crimes. Those who unnaturally elongate their own lives, those who cheat death, who would see others sacrificed for their own dark power. This is where we keep them,” he said, and Lup already knew where this was heading before he finished.

“This is where you were  _ supposed _ to end up, Lup.”

“But  _ why?” _ Lup pleaded, spinning back around to face the reaper. “What the fuck could I have done to justify ending up somewhere like that?” she asked, because that didn’t make any sense. She couldn’t remember who she was or her life, sure, but she didn’t- she didn’t think she was  _ evil. _ All that stuff Kravitz had been saying about unnaturally extending your life and sacrificing others for power, she couldn’t imagine that being something she would ever want.

Kravitz sighed, and Lup watched as he held out a hand, a large glowing book appearing above it and flipping itself open. Then he began to read.

“Lup, by order of the Raven Queen, your former charges include dying without checking into the astral plane a total of fourteen times-”

“ _ Fourteen?!” _

“As well as several unlawful uses of necromancy, up to and including becoming a lich,” he finished.

“A- a  _ lich? _ No, no that’s not- that can’t be right! Are you sure that's even me? I can’t believe I would do something like that,” she argued, and Kravitz was frowning deeply now. It was hard to tell if he was mad or annoyed or simply disappointed with her.

“Lup, I understand this must be overwhelming for you, but you have to understand-” he started, but she was already shaking her head before he could finish.

“It’s not just overwhelming, it’s impossible! Maybe I can’t remember who I was but I’m not- I’m not some evil super villain! Why would I give a shit about living forever or being all powerful or any of the other bullshit reasons someone becomes a lich? I’m not- I don’t-” she found her words failing her, and maybe she had been feeling fine before, but now she collapsed to her knees, thankful for the soft sand below her. “It doesn’t make any sense,” she insisted, not looking up at Kravitz anymore. She didn’t want to know how he was looking at her, with pity or disgust or what, it was all bad.

“Lup, I’m sorry,” Kravitz said softly, and she was still refusing to look at him but she could tell that he had knelt down in the sand as well. “But I can confirm without a shadow of a doubt that you  _ were _ a lich. These aren’t just some words in a book, I  _ saw _ you. You were broken and tattered when I managed to find you, yes, but there was no mistaking that you were a lich. A powerful one at that, possibly the most powerful I have ever seen, considering how well you had managed to hold yourself together despite the state you were in,” he explained.

Despite how impossible it all seemed, Lup could tell he wasn’t lying.

“Then why am I here now?” she asked finally. “Why not just throw me in ghost jail and be done with it?” she continued, but even as she said it she already had an idea of the answer. There had been two women in that memory after all. That other one had been the only person who seemed pleased at her presence.

“The Lady Istus, she’s the goddess of fate. She’s decided that your story is not quite done yet and pleaded with the Raven Queen to give you this second chance. You’re quite lucky, you know that? If it wasn’t for her you would have been sent there without a second thought,” Kravitz explained.

Lup was quiet for a long time, because well, what even was there to say at this point?

“Maybe we should head back. Your construct might be completed but you could still use rest, and the fact that your memories haven’t returned yet is somewhat troubling,” Kravitz said after a long moment, pushing himself back up to his feet. A bit reluctantly Lup nodded, pushing herself up and brushing sand off of her dress.

“Is it unusual, to lose memories like this?” she asked, and Kravitz shrugged.

“It can be tricky, the whole dying business. Yours was definitely a bit more turbulent than most. It makes sense that there would be some issues,” he said, taking his scythe again and cutting another portal. Lup followed him back into the rather plain looking living area, her thoughts still racing as she processed what Kravitz had said.

“Get some rest. Later we can go see the Raven Queen, get everything else settled,” he added, still speaking a bit more gently than Lup honestly expected. She nodded, and she wasn’t sure if her body was tired, or if it was just her mind.

“Sounds good bones,” she muttered, heading straight to the room that she supposed was hers now and shutting the door behind her. Immediately she was confronted with the complete nothingness of the inside, the plain white walls and single bed staring back at her in silence.

She hated it. It felt like a prison.

Considering what she was though, the things she must have  _ done. _

She probably deserved it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So i'm pretty sure I'm going to be updating this fic either every sunday, or every other sunday, depending on how much of a backlog I can get up. It's been uuuuh _quite_ a week though, in multiple ways, so I figured why not friday update. I am really excited to get this fic off and running after all. 
> 
> as alwayss, thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed!


	3. A Breath

This wasn't what Kravitz expected, if he was being totally honest. He had been prepared for the worst, for the former lich to be resistant and confrontational and fight him every step of the way. After all it wasn't like she had been in a very fit state when she agreed to become a reaper. He wouldn't even blame her too much for being upset, at least for that aspect of it. She wasn't given much of a choice after all.

She certainly seemed to be upset, but not for any of the reasons Kravitz had anticipated. She still couldn't remember anything from her former life, which maybe he should have found suspicious. It was entirely possible that this whole thing was a trick after all. Kravitz felt like he was pretty good at reading people though, and so far Lup had seemed genuine.

The horror she’d expressed at the very notion of being a lich certainly seemed real. In Kravitz's opinion, it was the most sane response, but he was well aware that was not the reaction most liches tended to have.

He hadn't seen her since they came back to his house. She'd immediately gone to her room and shut the door, and he was trying not to be too worried about that. He didn't think she would try to escape, at least not right now, but there was something that felt incredibly unnatural about leaving a lich to her own devices.

She wasn't a lich anymore though, but it was hard to quite comprehend that.

It had been several hours since they had gotten back. Kravitz didn't keep track of time very religiously, but a little while after the Raven Queen had put the lich in his charge he had dug through some of his belongings and found an old working watch. There was no way it was actually accurate to the hour, but it at least helped him keep a vague idea of how much time had passed. That didn't really help him know how much time was a reasonable amount of time to actually wait though.

After twelve hours (half a day, certainly that was enough time for her to sulk, at least without him checking in) Kravitz figured it wouldn't hurt to see how she was doing. She probably still needed rest from the long process of becoming a reaper, but he shouldn't leave her alone forever either.

As Kravitz went to knock on the door however, it suddenly swung open. Lup was on the other side, looking about as surprised as he was. She quickly recovered through, setting him with a determined stare.

"Good, I wanted to talk to you," she said, turning back around on her heels and going to sit on her bed. She left the door open behind her, so Kravitz took that as an invitation to follow, summoning a chair again to sit as well. He could see her watch the process with interest, but he ignored that for now. They would get into the powers they had as reapers later, once he was more certain how much he could trust her.

"It's my job to guide you through becoming a reaper. If you have any questions I'd be happy to answer them," he said, maybe still being a bit more formal than he usually was. He didn't think anyone could blame him for that though. This whole thing was incredibly bizarre.

"Okay, in that case yeah I've got a question," she started, and there was a moment where she seemed to be psyching herself up to actually ask what was on her mind.

"How does someone become a lich?"

"That's not-" Kravitz started, and unfortunately this was a bit more what he expected. Even if she couldn't remember her crimes, she was still a necromancer. She would still try to seek out such knowledge. "There's no reason for you to know this now. You're not a necromancer anymore, and trust me you will not be going after liches for a long time," he tried. If he could somehow manage this without it devolving into an immediate argument he was at least going to try.

"That's not why I'm asking," Lup insisted, but Kravitz was already shaking his head.

"The Lady Istus has vouched for you, but you are still new here and I cannot trust you with this sort of knowledge, not yet," he argued. Not ever, if he had his way about it, but he wasn’t going to say that.

"I was already a lich! What am I gonna do, become a  _ double _ lich?" she snapped, and Kravitz sighed heavily.

"Double liches aren't a thing," he responded immediately. That wasn't the main point though, continuing with a sigh. "This isn't anything that concerns you anymore," he said, trying to make it clear in his voice that this wasn't something they were going to keep arguing about.

"I need to know what I did!" she shouted, and Kravitz hadn't noticed that she had started to tremble. It was hard to tell if it was from rage or some other mix of emotions. "I can't- I can't remember  _ shit _ Kravitz. All I know is that I  _ hurt people _ and I need to know how," she insisted, her voice quivering.

And immediately, they were back in uncharted waters.

"I need- I don't care about the actual enchantment or anything like that. I just need to  _ know," _ she pleaded. Taking a deep breath, Kravitz nodded. It seemed that Lup hadn't gotten the hang of making her construct breathe yet.

"I won't sugar coat it for you. The process of becoming a lich is incredibly dark, there's a reason its one of the highest crimes against the Queen's laws," he said, and Lup nodded quickly.

"I don't want it sugar coated," she insisted, sounding earnest and relieved at his relenting. 

"A lich is created when a soul is ripped out of its still living body and combined with pure arcane energy. The stronger the lich, the more connected it is to that arcane power and the harder it is for it to keep its identity and sanity," he started. Even through he didn't intend on brushing over anything, he still felt like he could at least ease into the subject.

"You said I was one of the strongest you've ever seen, right?" she asked, and Kravitz chuckled at that.

"I was convinced for a while there that you were a dracolich, the power you sent out was ridiculous. Not even to mention the fact that you were able to keep some semblance of your sanity when you were falling apart. I've never seen anything like it before," he said, because it was just the honest truth. There was a brief moment where Lup was smirking smugly. That quickly fell though, replaced with an unnerved frown.

"How do you get a lich that strong?" she asked.

"It takes an incredible amount of power to combined a soul with that amount of magic. The more magic, the more powerful a lich, the harder it is to keep control," he explained, and there was only so much beating around the bush he could do.

"The creation of a lich requires multiple sacrifices. After a lich is created it is possible for it to sustain itself alone for some time, but more typically they require more sacrifices to keep themselves together," he said. Looking at Lup it was easy to see the horror there.

"So, for someone like me…" she trailed off, but Kravitz could understand the unspoken question easily enough.

"Dozens? At least for the initial transformation. After that I can’t say for sure. It depends on how long you were out there, but with the amount of unchecked deaths you have I wouldn't be surprised if it got up well into the hundreds," he answered. Maybe it was blunt, but Lup had said that she didn’t want it sugarcoated, and the type of necromancy she had performed came with a price.

"Shit…" Lup said softly, and there was a part of Kravitz that truly did feel sorry for her. Not for the lich who had done those crimes, but this person who had no memories and had to confront what a version of them they knew nothing about did. "How long was I out there?" she pressed after a moment.

"What do you mean?" he asked, head cocking to the side in a puzzled manner.

"You said it depends on how long I was out there for, so how long?" she explained. That made sense, there just happened to be one problem with the question.

"Ah, well, we're not totally sure, " he said. He hadn't been lying about her being in recovery for near a month, and in that time he had plenty of time to do some research. All that research amounted to was that he was sure he did not know what was going on.

"What do you  _ mean _ you're not sure?" she asked, and it was a fair question.

"You're a bit of an enigma to us, if I'm being honest. You appeared in our records about two years ago, already a lich who had died 13 times. I wasn't able to find you until you died again though," he explained, and the confusion on Lup's face was obvious.

"That doesn't make any sense though!" she said, and all Kravitz could do was shrug heavily.

"Like I said, you're an enigma. Its not a mistake though, I can assure you of that," he said, and the fight in her form faded at that, thoughts racing across her face.

"And there's not… there's no way to become a lich like…  _ humanely _ , right?" she asked, sounding well aware of how ridiculous the question was.

"Not one that I've ever seen, no. I'm sorry, I don't believe it is possible," he said, and Lup nodded softly at that.

"Right, of course," she said, a hurt tone to her voice. _ "Fuck,"  _ she burst out suddenly, her head falling into her hands. Kravitz flinched back, and there was a moment where he was worried she was going to start crying. After watching for a moment through she was just… sitting there.

"Lup?" he asked after a moment, not getting any response. "Are you alright?"

"No, I'm not  _ alright!" _ she snapped, her head jetting up towards him. She was glaring daggers at him, but her face was totally dry. "The only thing I know about myself is that I was a horrible person! Probably killed hundreds of people, and I have no idea why! I don't… I don't know why I would  _ do something _ like this. I don't understand," she said, her whole form slumping with despair. "And I can't even cry!" she shouted suddenly, rubbing at her face with clear irritation. Kravitz jolted at that, a realization coming to him.

"Your construct is still new. It'll take some time for you to learn how to mimic living functions like breathing and crying," he explained, a little relieved that there was at least one thing with an easy answer.

"Of course, just perfect," she grumbled, letting out a frustrated huff. It would have been a little funny if the situation wasn't so unfortunate. There was a moment where they simply sat there, and it had been a long time since Kravitz had the opportunity to feel so awkward. 

"I'm not sure if it'll help much," he started, trying to find the correct words for what he wanted to say. "But I've never seen a lich regret their decisions like you are. Lady Istus doesn't make mistakes, if there was ever a lich that could truly repent, it would be you," he finished. Maybe it would be different if she had not lost so much during the capture, but what might have been didn't matter now.

Lup didn't say anything for a moment, and Kravitz wasn't sure if he made things worse or not. Then she smiled the slightest bit, shaking her head.

"Thanks, I appreciate that bones," she said. Kravitz rolled his eyes at the continued insistence on the nickname, but it was a better response than he expected. Taking a deep breath, all of this continued to take him off guard.

"So, we can go speak to the Raven Queen now, or we can take a break from all of the heavy stuff for a moment and I can go over some of the basics of your new form," he offered. If she still wanted to see the Raven Queen immediately he would have no problems taking her, but considering everything he figured it wouldn't hurt to give another option.

"Ya know what? That sounds like a good idea. I still want to talk to the big bird lady, but if we could make sure I don't suddenly relearn how to cry or throw up or whatever the fuck in the middle of that it'd probably be good," she said. Kravitz chuckled at that, pushing himself up out of the chair and letting it dissipate under him.

“I don’t think we’ll have to worry too much about anything like that, it’s… well, it’s a bit of a process. After I became a reaper I don’t think I did anything like eating or drinking for, what was it? Fifty years? Seventy five? Somewhere between there,” he said, and he didn’t quite expect the look of horror on Lup’s face at that.

“Are you being for real right now?” she asked, following Kravitz as he started to lead them back out to the main part of the house. He nodded with a shrug, not really all that bothered. “Why the fuck not?” she pressed.

“It simply hadn’t occurred to me I suppose. It’s- there’s a lot of changes that come with being dead, and our constructs don’t get hungry or thirsty, one of the many upsides. I just hadn’t thought of it, and soon enough I’d simply gotten out of the habit,” he explained. It was a little strange, he hadn’t thought back to that part of his existence in so long now, he’d almost forgotten about it.

“What made you start up again?” Lup asked, sounding genuinely curious. Kravitz paused, having to take a moment to actually remember what it had been.

“I found some wine when clearing out a necromancer’s keep. It was a vintage I had always wanted to try when I was alive, but I never had the chance. I think it just seemed a shame to let it go to waste,” he said. When he looked back at Lup he was a little surprised by the smile on her face. It didn’t last long though, a frown dipping down as her thoughts seemed to race again.

“So you can remember? Your life, that is?” she asked, and Kravitz nodded.

“Well, so-so. It’s been… a  _ long _ time, most of it is faded if I’m being honest,” he said, starting to take a look around the room. With a wave of his hand he quickly expanded it, giving them a bit more room to work with.

“How are you doing all that?” Lup asked, looking around them. “Like with the room and summoning chairs and shit? Is that a part of the gig too?”

“Eventually you will be able to manipulate the astral plane to your will as well, yes. It would probably be best to work up to something like that though,” he said, and Lup nodded. At least she seemed to be paying attention quite well, a serious look on her face as she took in what he was saying. “Before we even start to get into manipulating our environment, we should start with manipulating our constructs.”

“What, you mean like how you can go all bones, bones?” Lup asked, and Kravitz nodded.

“Yes, it’s one of the forms we can take. When you find yourself out on the job it’s perhaps what you would call a bit of a standard uniform,” he explained. As he did he let his flesh fall away into his full reaper form, black robes enveloping him around his suit, scythe coalescing in his hand. Normally people watched the transformation with fear, or the braver ones with awe and fascination. Lup herself had certainly seemed surprised and scared the first time.

That was different now. She instead was frowning, the look she was giving him as he changed making him feel like he was being  _ analyzed  _ more than anything else.

“How do you do it?” she asked, staring down at her own hand with a look of concentration on her face.

“It’s probably not something you’ll be able to get right away. You’re letting parts of your construct fall away, keeping only the parts most connected to the Raven Queen. Everything else from your self, your life, is stripped away,” he explained, aware that it probably sounded a little esoteric. That was just how these sorts of things worked though.

Lup was quiet for a moment, continuing to stare at her hand. It was hard to tell what she was thinking, a displeased frown on her face.

“Well, if it involves leaving everything from your life behind it should be a piece of cake for me,” she muttered finally. Her frown deepened, and there was a moment where Kravitz actually saw her form  _ flicker. _

“Wait,” he cut in quickly, breaking her concentration. “I wouldn’t suggest actually trying it yet. You haven’t been connected to the Raven Queen for long, it’d be easy for you to go too far,” he said. Lup looked up at him at that, an eyebrow raised in question.

“Too far?”

“If we let go of  _ everything _ we can go down to our base soul. It’s a useful form for a hasty retreat, or getting into somewhere undetected. There’s a few other fun things we can do as souls, but it can be difficult to get back your construct if you’re not used to this,” he explained. As a demonstration he let the whole of  _ him _ fall away, until there was nothing left but his soul.

He could still see Lup, could still hear perfectly fine. There wasn’t any sort of sensations like this though, other than a faint, pleasant buzzing. He also couldn’t speak, not without possessing something. He darted around the new reaper quickly before moving back over across the room, letting his construct reform.

“Neat,” Lup said, and Kravitz nodded. It was pretty neat.

“Considering how… tenuous your connection to your identify might be right now, I would suggest not trying to shift your form until we speak to the Raven Queen,” he offered. Lup looked disappointed, but nodded after a moment.

“What  _ can _ I do then?” she asked, and Kravitz actually had to take a moment to think of an answer.

“Breathing would be a good start, to help you get a bit more control of your construct,” he said. Lup didn’t look very impressed by that answer, which maybe he should have expected. It wasn’t exactly as fun as turning into an ominous robed skeleton.

“Breathing? That doesn’t sound so hard,” she said, which was a fair reaction.

“Alright then. Do it,” Kravitz replied easily. Lup rolled her eyes, a look on her face like he was being a bit ridiculous with the request. That look slowly started to shift into one of confused frustration. The whole time Kravitz could see her form keeping stubbornly still, no rise or fall of her chest indicating breath.

“Okay, what the fuck?” Lup asked, finally, and it was a little hard for Kravitz not to laugh at that. He managed it, but if he was a lesser person he wouldn’t have.

“It might be easier to try some motions to get into the flow of it. Put your hands out like this,” he said, holding his hands out with the palms up. Lup copied him, and Kravitz began to slowly open and close both hands in time with his breath. “Just concentration on the motion of it, a push and pull,” he said softly. Lup nodded, her gaze turning towards her hands as she followed along.

“Now, try to let that movement flow through the rest of your body. Don’t focus on breathing, just let your form rise and fall with the motion of your hands,” he said. Looking up at Lup, she nodded just the slightest bit. Her eyes were closed as she focused on his instructions, and for a moment he couldn’t see any difference.

Then he could see her getting a feel for it. It was clear that she wasn’t breathing, not quite yet, but the motions were there. It was certainly enough that someone who wasn’t paying attention, someone who had no reason to suspect anything was amiss, wouldn’t notice anything strange at all.

There really was something calming about the whole exercise, a meditative quality to it. So he didn’t mind standing there for a bit and going along with his breath as the new reaper slowly became acclimated to the action.

It was so calming, in fact, that Kravitz couldn’t help but jolt a little when Lup suddenly spoke up.

“There! I did it,” she said, breaking the quiet peace of the room. Kravitz hadn’t even realized he’d closed his eyes as well until he was opening them and looking over at her. “Look, I was- no wait, damn it, I lost it. I  _ was _ breathing though,” she insisted, and Kravitz couldn’t help but chuckle some at that.

“You picked that up faster than expected, good job,” he said, a smug grin appearing on Lup’s face at that. “You should keep practicing, until it starts to feel a bit more natural,” he added. She nodded, that cockiness immediately leaving her face as she closed her eyes again, holding her hands out, a calmness setting over her as she started to go through the motions again.

Standing there watching her for a moment, there was something so incredibly surreal about this whole thing. It was hard for Kravitz to put into words, everything about this former lich feeling completely alien to him.

“Will you be good to stay here for a moment? I can trust you to not try to escape the astral plane?” he asked, and Lup frowned as she stopped her breathing exercise.

“Not really like I have anywhere else to go. Why? Whatcha up to reaper man?” she asked.

“I just have a few errands to run. Perhaps when I get back we can go see the Raven Queen, if you’re feeling up to it,” he offered. They would definitely need to speak to her soon, now that the new reaper was up and fully aware.

“Yeah alright, I think I could handle that,” Lup said, before going back to her breathing. There was a part of Kravitz that was worried leaving her alone would be a mistake, but this seemed… it all seemed a little too much to be a trick. Maybe that would bite him in the ass, but Kravitz had a pretty good judge of character.

Summoning his scythe again, he didn’t say a word as he opened up and portal and jumped through. He was kind of thankful that Lup had her eyes closed as he did, he wasn’t sure if he wanted her to catch a glimpse of where he had gone. Sure, it was entirely possible that her mind was still too scrambled to recognize it, but he wasn’t sure if he should take that chance.

The cave was left exactly how he remembered it, large vault off to one side, scorch and burn marks now on the ground where the lich had been released. The two halves of the umbrella were laying tattered and burned on the cave floor.

And off in the corner, as silent and dead as it should be, was the corpse.

Sighing heavily, Kravitz started by picking up the umbrella. It was useless now, but it wouldn’t do to just leave it here.

Heading back to her corpse, there wasn’t much else to find that he hadn’t seen the first time he’d looked it over. That wasn’t really why he was here anyway.

Reaching into a pocket dimension, Kravitz pulled out a long, black piece of fabric. It felt like silk and shimmered with iridescent rainbows like a raven’s feathers.  Kneeling down, he very carefully started to wrap the remains in the fabric.

Kravitz didn’t get very far before he found himself hesitating, reading over the strange patch on the robe again. He had no idea what it meant, but he doubted it was anything good.

Still, after a moment he found himself making a split second decision, taking the robe. He used magic to clean it before carefully folding it and placing it inside of a pocket dimension. He didn’t know if it would be a good idea to ever show it to Lup, but it was the only salvageable piece left of her old life that was left. It didn’t feel like it was entirely his decision on if it should be thrown away or not.

With that, he went back to his work of carefully preparing the corpse. It wasn’t anything fancy, and it wasn’t something Kravitz had ever extended to a bounty like this. To his bounties victims? Of course, but not to someone like this. Not to a  _ lich. _

It had felt wrong to leave her here though. So once he had her fully wrapped he carried her the long way out of the cave. It was a nice day out, maybe a little too nice for what he was doing, but he didn’t pay it much mind. There were a few soft rolling hills not far from the mouth of the cave, and Kravitz headed over to them. Once at the top, he placed the corpse back down and started to dig.

A more traditional ending for a new reaper would be to be left for the birds to return to the earth. Unfortunately, her physical body was so far gone at this point that not many birds would have bothered with it.

It didn’t take long, and once the hole was covered again Kravitz spent a moment staring down at it. It felt wrong not to mark it with something, but he didn’t have-

Pulling out the umbrella, it was still a bit of a mess. The two parts were connected by a few strips of the fabric, the rest of it snapped apart messily. It certainly wasn’t much of a marker.

Magic had never actually been his forte, not the traditional wizard kind. Still, when you’re around for long enough, you pick up a thing or two.

The transmutation was definitely a bit crude, the stone material nothing to write home about and many of the finer details lost in the action. It felt fitting enough to Kravitz though, the broken umbrella now locked in place as Kravitz stabbed it into the ground at the top of the grave.

It really wasn’t much, and a part of Kravitz still wasn’t sure what had possessed him to come out here and give Lup a proper burial.

He supposed it just felt like the right thing to do, and maybe that was all that mattered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i think the current plan for this fic is gonna be updating on Sundays every other week. We'll see how long that manages to go for, but I'm excited for this fic and want to try to keep a schedule for it. 
> 
> as always, thanks for reading and i hope you enjoyed!


	4. Conditions

Kravitz left, and Lup wasn’t really sure where he was going, but she supposed it didn’t matter. At the very least it wasn’t her business, and she couldn’t blame the dude for not trusting her all that much yet. If she was in his position she doubted she would trust herself.

Hell, she  _ didn’t _ trust herself now as it was. Sure, she felt pretty… good wasn’t the right word. Steady, at the moment. Didn’t think she was in danger of going off the deep end and slaughtering a bunch of people for unlimited power. But apparently that wasn’t completely out of the question. At one time it would have at least been an  _ option. _

She’d want to accuse Kravitz of lying, or at least being mistaken. That surely there had to be some other way, another option that didn’t set her skin on fire.

But even though she was missing a lot of the details, she knew what a lich was. That alone was probably a pretty big red flag. Everything Kravitz said tracked with what little information she managed to retain.

Liches were evil things.

Lup shook her head, trying to push those thoughts from her mind. The weren’t doing her any good right now. She focused on the breathing exercises Kravitz had showed her instead, and she had gotten pretty good at it by now. It only took a few seconds before she could feel herself doing some weird simulacrum of breathing, air flowing in and out of something lung like that Lup was pretty sure hadn’t been there before.

As she practiced, she let her mind focus on the only thing that wasn’t immediately actively distressing. She wasn’t sure what to think of Kravitz at first, and she still wasn’t if she was being honest. He seemed nice enough. Kind of boring and formal, if she was being totally honest.

One thing she knew for sure was that it seemed like she was going to be stuck with him for a while. It would probably pay to get on his good side since he was the one who was going to show her how to navigate all of this.

Lup wasn’t sure how long she was left on her own, steadying herself with the repetitive motions. Eventually the sound of a large rip in the air knocked her out of it, and she opened her eyes just quick enough to see the blade get pulled back before Kravitz stepped back out.

“Finished up those errands?” Lup asked, and as she spoke she could feel her body going quiet and still again. It was kind of unnerving, but Kravitz said it would take a while to pick up these things. That didn’t mean she had to like it though.

“Yes, it wasn’t much,” he said, and he hadn’t gotten rid of the giant scythe in his hand or the dark black feathered robe around his shoulders. Lup was pretty sure he wasn’t trying to be threatening with them or anything though, which was at least a little appreciated. “Are you still feeling up to meeting with the Raven Queen?” he asked. That certainly was the question.

“Yeah,” Lup forced herself to say. She couldn’t remember a lot from the last meeting, but she was pretty sure the goddess wasn’t…  _ thrilled _ at the idea of her. Still, she was here now, she was working for the god, and she had questions. “Yeah, let’s get this over with.”

With that Kravitz nodded, lifting up his scythe again without a word and cutting another glowing portal into the air. It was honestly a pretty damn neat trick, Lup could appreciate the drama of it. If that was a preview of the kind of shit they got as reapers, she probably wouldn’t hate this.

Kravitz walked through first. Concentrating deeply, Lup managed to force herself to take a breath before following after him.

The chamber was familiar, in the way that a dream might be familiar. It had all been so distorted last time, and it wasn’t like it was a picture of euclidean design even now, but it was manageable.

Even though the room seemed to go on for an eternity, it turned to a shimmering blackness once she looked far enough that it was easy to ignore. Besides, her sight was pretty well focused on the giant being in front of her.

She guessed this was the Raven Queen. She could only remember a strange mass of feathers and shifting features, and it seemed like that was one of the few things that was completely accurate. She kind of got the feeling that most mortal weren’t really supposed to see a god in this sort of unchecked form, and it seemed pretty close to giving her a headache. It didn’t quite manage to tip over all the way though, which might have been on account of the deadness.

She was sitting on a giant sapphire throne, and it was impossible to tell what the goddess was thinking.

When Kravitz knelt down Lup hastily followed suit, keeping her head bowed. It was probably the best option for a number of reasons. She couldn’t remember much from their previous meeting, but she got the distinct impression from what she could recall that she was real fucking lucky to not be rotting away in ghost jail right now. And even if she hadn’t been able to remember, Kravitz had straight up told her as such.

“My Queen, your new charge has completed her recovery,” Kravitz said. Lup had thought he sounded formal before, but she guessed that had all been more along the lines of awkward and uncomfortable. This was  _ actually _ formal. When the Raven Queen spoke her voice was somehow both beautiful and terrifying, sending a chill deep down to Lup’s very soul. Or at least, what was probably left of it.

“Rise Lup, my reaper,” the Raven Queen said, and Lup followed the command without any complaint, pulling herself to her feet and looking up to try to meet the goddess’s eyes. That turned out to be rather difficult, and she ended up settling on a vaguely face direction. “How are you feeling?” she continued, and it was impossible to really gauge what emotions were there, if any. Hoping it wasn’t too noticeable Lup managed to make herself take another deep breath.

“Good. I- thank you for your mercy,” she started, because that seemed like something she should probably get right out of the way. “I don’t- I don’t know what had motivated me to do what I had done in the past, but I am thankful for this second chance,” she finished, hoping she wasn’t already crossed some line by bringing up her past at all. That would make finding out answers kind of difficult, and somehow even more than that, she felt like she needed to say this.

She needed them to know what she wasn’t that person they had on their records. Not anymore.

“Do not make me regret that mercy,” the Raven Queen said, and the emotion there was a bit easier to pick up. Maybe it was her imagination, but she was pretty sure the cold chill that went through her at that wasn’t just in her head. Lup quickly nodded. She wasn’t planning on it.

“Of course,” she said, bowing her head again. This was honestly about the best she was expecting, considering everything.

“My Queen,” Kravitz cut in, a level of respect and reverence in his voice that Lup wasn’t sure she would ever be able to achieve. “I know it has not been long, but based off of first impressions Lup has been incredibly understanding, and more than willing to atone for her past crimes. While I would never doubt the Lady Istus’s judgment, it left me genuinely surprised,” he said. Lup turned back to look at him at that, sure the surprise was clear on her face. She didn’t expect him to actually stand up for her, that as for sure.

“Is that so?” the Raven Queen asked, and Lup swore there was actually a part of her that sounded amused. “You wish to atone for your past crimes?” the goddess had her full attention back on Lup now, and yeah that shit was certainly a bit intimidating. It wasn’t like she had much left to lose though, and it was surprisingly easy for Lup to steel her nerves and nod, meeting the goddess as eye to eye as she could manage.

“Yes, of course I do,” she said, and it was still pretty impossible to make out real features. She could see a large black beak though, and she was pretty sure there was the slightest hint of a smile at her words.

It was more than she expected, and it was enough to help Lup feel a bit more emboldened. Maybe it wasn’t a great idea to immediately be making demands of a goddess, but Kravitz had said that she was willing to discuss what was wrong with her.

“I want to do whatever I can to fix the damage I’ve done, to make it up to whoever it was that I hurt,” she continued, trying to make it clear how much she meant every word she was saying. “I want to atone for all of the suffering I’ve caused, but I still can’t even remember what that  _ is, _ Raven Queen Madame,” she said, bowing her head at that last part. It was quiet for a moment, and she had no idea what the god was thinking.

“Your memories, you had said that they continue to escape you?” she asked finally, and Lup nodded. When she chanced looking back up the goddess started to get closer, moving surprisingly fast. It was in such a way that it gave Lup the impression that space and size were more… options for the goddess, rather than any sort of hard and fast rule. She was in front of Lup before she could properly process what was happening, and she was still much larger than her, but maybe not as large as she had seemed to be on the throne.

She was also looking down intently at Lup, with a gaze that seemed to pierce straight through her.

“Your soul has been wounded,” she said finally, and instinctively Lup pulled a hand up to her chest. She wasn’t trying to breathe right now, and without a heartbeat it was unnervingly still.

“What does that mean?” Kravitz asked before Lup got the chance to, and maybe that was a good thing. When the Raven Queen turned towards him, there was definitely something there that wasn’t when she looked at Lup. Her form seemed a bit warmer somehow, softer and fonder. Yeah, it was probably gonna take a minute for Lup to get into the goddess’s good books.

“It is hard to say. I suspect the damage was done when you were released from that extra planar prison,” she said, turning back towards Lup. Out of the corner of her eye she could see Kravitz flinch slightly at that.

“Prison?” she asked, and she knew Kravitz had found her but she didn’t actually know much about what had happened, thinking about it. She turned back towards him, and he looked awkward as he nodded.

“I found you um, trapped in a pocket dimension hidden in the handle of an umbrella? Honestly, everything about you has been pretty weird,” he said, which… really wasn’t what Lup had been expecting. Before she could ask what the fuck that was about the Raven Queen spoke up again.

“It seems that you were still recovering from being placed in that trap when my reaper found you, and your self was further damaged in the extraction. I have rebuilt what I could from what was left when I brought you into my retinue, but some bonds had been severed,” she explained, and Lup had a sinking feeling in her gut at that.

“Wait, so is it- is it gone forever?” she asked, the idea more terrifying than she expected. It took longer for the Raven Queen to answer than she would have liked, which wasn’t a good sign when it was coming from a god.

“I am not entirely sure, it may be possible for you to rebuild those memories with time. To reconnect to the life you had beforehand,” she said, and even though Lup should have seen the next part coming, it still took her off guard. “The real question is, do you wish to?”

“I- uh, with all due respect your Queenliness, of course I do. Why  _ wouldn’t _ I?” she asked, because it didn’t make any sense to her. She needed to know who she was, that wasn’t an option. Thankfully the Raven Queen didn’t seem too offended by the question. Lup was at least getting less terrified of the goddess the longer they talked.

Even though she was less afraid, Lup was taken off guard by how gentle the goddess sounded as she spoke.

“Memories can bring pain just as much as they can bring closure. My young reaper, you have died fourteen times. You have corrupted your soul with the darkest necromancy available, and despite all of that it is plain to see that you have retained a good heart. I can only imagine the suffering you have endured,” she explained.

There was a part of Lup that wanted to argue, even if arguing with a goddess who she was currently owing her existence to definitely wasn’t a smart move. It didn’t matter if it hurt to know, she needed to have those answers. Probably better that it hurt, at least then it’d be a little more equal with those who  _ she _ hurt. Instead of saying anything though she found herself silent as the Raven Queen continued. 

“I have granted you a full pardon for your past Lup. You are under no obligation to seek out and relive this pain if you choose not to,” the goddess finished. And it wasn’t- she knew that she was working for the goddess now. Clearly she was granted some leeway from her past, but she really didn’t expect anything like that. She never thought that just… moving on would be an option.

Would it be better to not remember? It wasn’t like she could have had a very fulfilling life, the chances that she had been a good person were basically in the fucking dirt.

And she had died. Fourteen fucking times. What had that even been like? How many people did she have to kill to come back each time? Was there anyone with her through it? Anyone she cared about? She didn’t know. She didn’t know if she  _ wanted _ to know.

“Isn’t- isn’t that just running away?” she asked finally, because she didn’t want to be a coward. Whatever crimes she had committed in the past she could own up to them. “How am I supposed to prove myself to you if I can’t even remember what I  _ did?” _

“If you wish to prove yourself I have little doubt that you will find a way,” the Raven Queen said, and there was definitely a smile there now. Lup wasn’t sure how she could be so confident, other than the whole god thing she supposed. She certainly didn’t feel that confident, and she was talking about her own damn self. Glancing back over at Kravitz, the other reaper gave her an encouraging nod. Lup took a deep breath at that, the feeling still a little strange and unsteady as she tried to bring herself to some sort of resolution.

“I don’t know what could have made me into the kind of person who would have hurt others for something as selfish and dangerous as becoming a lich. I don’t… I don’t think I  _ want _ to know,” she said finally, the toll of what she had done piling up in her head. She didn’t know, or at least didn’t remember a lot about necromancy, but she knew that something as dark as becoming a lich, of dying fourteen times without it ever sticking, wasn’t magic one could do  _ ethically. _

She wondered how much blood was on her hands. She was afraid of the answer.

Maybe she was a coward, but she felt she might rather start off a coward than a killer.

Getting down onto her knees, she kept her head bowed. She wondered if she would have ever been this respectful in life, but she imagined probably not. She decided that whoever she had been before, she didn’t much care for that person anymore. It wasn’t  _ her.  _ Not anymore.

“Raven Queen, I promise I will do whatever I can to atone for whatever I’ve done in the past, whether I remember it or not,” she finished, keeping her head bowed. Even still, she was pretty sure she could hear that smile still in the Raven Queen’s voice when she spoke.

“Then rise, my reaper,” she said. Lup did as she was instructed, and looking at the Raven Queen it was still hard to fully comprehend what she was seeing, but she was fairly sure there was some amusement there. She might even go so far as to say she looked proud of her. It was... nice.

“Thank you. Promise I won’t go putting this second chance to waste,” she said, and the Raven Queen nodded at that. She didn’t say anything to show it, but there was a definite air that this conversation was done, and Lup would even go so far as to venture that it had been a success. Kravitz bowed again, and Lup felt a little less clumsy when she followed along. Without another word he opened up another portal, Lup going on after him.

“I have to say, I didn’t expect that,” Kravitz said once they were back in what Lup figured at this point was definitely his house. She raised an eyebrow at that, even though she wasn’t sure she could blame him.

“What, were you expecting her to eat me or something? Oh ye of little faith,” she said, and at least it was funny when Kravitz sputtered and shook it head. Lup could use a little funny after all that.

“Of course not! You’re just taking this all a lot better than I expected. I’m pretty sure I wasn’t even as chill with becoming a reaper as you’ve been,” Kravitz explained. Lup supposed that was fair, it did seem like she was rolling with the punches here without much problem.

“I guess there’s probably some upsides to starting with a clean slate, ya know?” she said, and Kravitz nodded a bit at that. Then it was quiet for a moment, and even if Lup couldn’t remember much she was learning quite a bit about herself. One of those things was that she wasn’t super fond of the quiet.

“So,” she said loudly, stretching her arms up high over her head and bending to the side until something in her spine popped. It was nice to know that was still a thing she could do without much issue. Bones were still bones. “What exactly do you do around here for fun? Breathing exercises are well and good, meeting with intimidating bird goddesses just a  _ hoot, _ but we got anything maybe a bit more… lighthearted?” she asked.

“Ah yes, that was all quite a lot,” Kravitz said, seeming to take a moment as he tried to think of something fun that probably wasn’t also terrifying. “Let’s see… do you remember how to play cards?” he asked.

“If not I’m sure I’ll pick it up fast enough,” she said. Kravitz actually smiled at that, pulling a deck of cards out of some little pocket dimension and heading over to the couch. Lup pulled over the other chair so that she was sitting across the coffee table as Kravitz started dealing.

He began explaining the rules to blackjack as he did, and Lup nodded along like she was trying to take everything in. She didn’t need to, she could actually remember the game with ease. Still, she wasn’t going to let Kravitz know that.

She lost the first game, which made sense. Kravitz was better than she expected, although she wasn’t sure why she didn’t expect him to be fucking lethal at the game. She was also pretty rusty, or one could call it that.

Mostly though, she wanted to get Kravitz’s guard down.

“So,” she started as they began their second game. Even with the cards it was a bit too quiet for her liking. “This is basically the deal now? You gonna be training me in all this reaper stuff as I atone for all my death crimes?” she asked. Kravitz nodded, not looking up from his cards.

“That’s the basics, yes. Eventually you’ll be skilled enough to go out for missions from the Raven Queen on your own, but until then you’re my problem,” he said, which was probably fair.

“You do this often? Train up the newbies?” she asked, a little surprised when Kravitz shook his head.

“I’ve taken green reapers out on some training missions here and there, done some supervising on what I suppose you could call final exams, but nothing quite like this,” he explained. Lup hummed thoughtfully at that, taking a moment to examine her cards before making her next move.

“Is that so?” she asked, Kravitz nodding a bit absentmindedly, seeming pretty much focused on the game. She didn’t expect him to get this into it, but she didn’t know much about the guy. Apparently he was a big card shark. “Well, in that case now that I’ve fully got our Raven Queen’s seal of approval and all that, I’ve got a condition. One specifically for  _ you,” _ she said.

Kravitz actually looked up at that, some surprise and confusion on his face.

“And what exactly would that be?” he asked, a hint of caution in his voice. It was fair, a condition from someone who used to be a lich probably wasn’t the best thing to hear. Still, Lup felt like this was important. She took a long, maybe overly dramatic pause as she slowly looked the reaper over.

“You need to promise not to fall in love with me,” she said finally, as deadly serious as she could manage.

It definitely wasn’t the answer Kravitz had been expecting. He must’ve been breathing, even if Lup hadn’t been paying attention, because he started choking and coughing.

_ “Why is that a concern of yours?” _ he managed to ask after a moment, an absolutely incredulous tone to his voice. To be totally honest Lup wasn’t entirely sure, so she shrugged. As far as she was concerned the why wasn’t all that important.

“It just seems like the kind of thing that would happen in this situation! And I need your word that it won’t bones. I’m not interested in this co-workers to lovers story, alright?” she insisted. It was the honest to god truth too, and a part of her was curious about what the reason for that might have been.

The Raven Queen was right though, looking for those kinds of memories wouldn’t lead to anything good. She didn’t need to know.

“I can assure you, under  _ no _ uncertain terms, that will not be a problem, alright?” Kravitz said, and Lup was a little surprised by just how sure he sounded. She actually found herself frowning at that.

“Okay, I know I was the one to insist on this but I’m a little insulted about how positive you are. Is it the lich thing?” she asked, and Kravitz kind of looked like he wanted to die. That was probably some type of ironic.

“No, it’s not the lich thing. And it’s not you either before you get bent out of shape about that,” Kravitz insisted, and instead of answering Lup kept staring at him and frowning. Mostly because this was hilarious, and she needed something, anything else to think about right now.

And it was really funny watching the grim reaper flounder around trying to think of something to say that wasn’t a blatant insult.

“It’s just-  _ look, _ okay. If you had a twin  _ brother _ or something maybe then there would be some concern, but otherwise I think we’re both safe,” he said finally.

That was the straw that finally broke Lup, her annoyed frown breaking as she burst out laughing. 

“Alright, alright you know what? That’s fair, that’s more than fair,” she said between bouts of laughter. Kravitz rolled his eyes, and while he was looking all annoyed she threw down her hand. She watched as he looked over her cards, an even more annoyed and incredulous look on his face at that.

“How- you just did all that to throw me off! Two out of three,” Kravitz insisted, quickly gathering the cards back up and starting to deal them back out.

“Yeah yeah, don’t be a sore loser Bones. It was an important part of out dynamic to establish,” she insisted. Kravitz didn’t look like he agreed all that much, but he didn’t argue with her either.

Lup still wasn’t sure how well she was going to do with all of this, but she was starting to think she could adjust.

Yeah, she could adjust.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i have no idea how to play blackjack, please ignore that. I'm actually pretty surprised I managed to get this chapter out on Sunday like i wanted, but it was fun getting back into it with this chapter. we're basically through the set up now, time for Lup to get into that good fun reaper training. 
> 
> as always, thanks for reading and i hope you enjoyed!


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